Burned Out or Lit From Within?

Solstice Reflections on Midlife and Renewal for Therapists and Healers

Summer Solstice invites us to engage with our element of fire and vitality

As the summer solstice approaches—the longest day of the year and a symbolic peak of the element of fire, illumination, and transformation—I find myself reflecting on a theme I hear often from clients and colleagues:

The 'messy' middle of things. Whether it's the unfolding of Midlife or the year.

Midlife doesn't always arrive with clarity. More often, it catches us off guard with it's subtle unraveling rather than with a single event. A slow and sometimes disorienting threshold, an invitation into change.

For many women—especially those navigating perimenopause, menopause, or postmenopausal years—midlife doesn’t feel like crisis, but it does feel like mystery. There is a restlessness, a subtle shift in perception and a quiet summons away from who we’ve been and toward something not yet fully known.

And for those of us in the helping professions, this can be especially confusing. We know the language of healing. We hold space for transformation; but what happens when we are the ones standing at the edge—no longer certain, no longer oriented, no longer sure who we’re becoming?

Holding Personal Thresholds in a World on Edge

Reconnecting with rituals can help us find meaning and purpose within uncertainty

It’s also worth naming: how the first half of 2025 has not been easy.

Across the U.S., and globally, many of us are living with chronic uncertainty—political instability, ecological grief, rising violence, social fragmentation. It hums beneath everything. It lives in our bodies, even when we’re not consciously tracking it.

For midlife women, and for therapists navigating this terrain alongside clients, it creates a layered nervous system load—personal transition, professional care work, and collective unease.

We are carrying more than one story and in times like these, tending to our own thresholds isn’t indulgent, it is essential.

The Solstice as a Mirror for Midlife

The summer solstice is not just a high point—it’s a balance point.

Yes, it marks the longest day and the peak of light. But it also signals a turning—toward darkness, toward descent, toward the second half of the year.

Solstice is a threshold: the space between what was and what’s becoming. It’s a moment to pause—not to fix or force—but to notice:

• What is illuminated right now?

• What am I being asked to see, to release, or to tend?

• What rhythms am I being invited to reimagine?

Midlife mirrors this as it arrives without warning interrupting what we thought we knew. And if we listen, it offers something sacred in return: the chance to reclaim our lives from the inside out.

Fire, Rust-out, Burnout, and the Nervous System

In Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011), sympathetic activation mobilizes us to act, move, achieve. But when we are stuck in survival patterns, we may find ourselves in what I call the split of midlife nervous system fatigue:

• In burnout, we’re over-functioning in sympathetic drive—trying to stay afloat while feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and depleted.

• In rust-out, we land in dorsal vagal shutdown—not necessarily from rest, but from a collapse of purpose. We stay, but without vitality. We continue, but without meaning.

Both are dysregulations. And both are common for therapists and midlife women caught in the in-between.

What makes perimenopause especially potent is that it introduces a hormonal threshold on top of the nervous system threshold. Estrogen and progesterone fluctuations affect cognition, memory, temperature regulation, sleep, and mood—making regulation harder and clarity more elusive. The body feels unfamiliar. The rhythms don’t line up. The fire flickers.

But this too is a signal. A call back to rhythm. To ritual. To choice.

Midlife as a Psychological and Developmental Solstice

In Jungian psychology, midlife marks the shift from persona to soul. Carl Jung described it as individuation—the call to gather the parts of ourselves we’ve abandoned and begin to live more fully, more truly.

In developmental theory, Erikson positioned this life stage as the conflict between generativity and stagnation—a desire to give back, often paired with burnout or disillusionment.

And for many therapists, these questions rise to the surface:

• Do I still want to work this way?

• Who am I when I’m not holding it all together?

• What does it mean to be both a healer and a woman in transition?

When layered with the cognitive and emotional shifts of perimenopause, these questions are not signs of regression—they’re signs of becoming.

Burnout vs. Lit From Within: A Solstice Self-Check

Experience	Burned Out	Lit From Within
Energy	Overextended, irritable, disconnected	Aligned, embodied, present
Motivation	Obligation, fear of letting others down	Values-driven, soul-aligned
Cognitive State	Foggy, reactive, overstimulated	Clear, curious, inwardly sourced
Nervous System State	Sympathetic/dorsal loop	Ventral vagal tone
Relationship to Work	Drained by clinical demands	Re-engaged through purpose & pacing

If you find yourself in the left-hand column, you’re not alone. These are common patterns among midlife clinicians—especially those navigating caregiving roles, hormonal changes, and accumulated trauma exposure.

But they are also signs. Signals. Invitations.

Standing at the Threshold of Change

This is the liminal fire of the solstice. A pause between momentum and descent. A place to reflect not on how to “keep going,” but on how to change direction with care.

Recently, I held space for a group of therapists through a nature-based ritual and renewal workshop, working with the elements—Fire, Water, Air, Earth, Ether, and Chronos. Together, we explored how nature co-regulates, how rituals help metabolize transitions, and how reflection can illuminate what’s ready to emerge.

Drawing from Sharon Blackie, this phase is the emergence of the Medial Woman—a figure no longer shaped by approval, but anchored in inner authority.

Nervous System Literacy for the Midlife Therapist

Midlife healing deepens when we include:

• Polyvagal awareness to track safety, urgency, and dysregulation

• Developmental reframing that sees this phase as integration—not pathology

• Rituals and nature-based practices that reconnect us with pleasure, rhythm, and renewal

Whether you work through CBT, EMDR, IFS, Somatic therapies, or Relational healing—it’s essential to explore how you are metabolizing your own stress, grief, and longings.

Light moving through the canopy of a tree can also be a metaphor of seeing how light can move and shift through our own body and nervous system

Solstice Reflection Practice

This summer solstice, try this brief pause:

Journal Prompts:

• What parts of me are over-functioning, under-nourished, or quietly aching?

• What internal rhythms are changing?

• What am I being invited to let go of in the second half of the year?

• What threshold am I standing at?

• What kind of fire do I want to tend: one of exhaustion, or one of inner light?

• What can I root into for light?

• What passion is quietly emerging?

Closing Reflections

Therapists are not immune to burnout nor to midlife’s mysterious unfolding. We do carry tools, insights, and ancient knowing in our bones. And we are resourced.

Let this solstice remind you of your unique light and that you are becoming.

Let your fire be rooted,

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Julie Cardoza, MS, LMFT, EMDRIA Approved Consultant, RYT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over two decades of experience supporting individuals through trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and life transitions. She is an EMDR Certified Therapist and Approved Consultant specializing in polyvagal-informed care, burnout, and midlife transformation. Julie integrates expressive arts, somatic awareness, and nature-based practices into her clinical work and teaching. She is also a Certified Morning Altars Teacher and holds a certificate in Perimenopause and Menopause Coaching from the Integrative Women’s Health Institute. Her work bridges science, story, and soul to support meaningful change—especially during threshold seasons like perimenopause, menopause, and the midlife shift.

Connect or learn more at:🌿 www.juliecardoza.com🌿 www.heartscapesllc.com

Disclaimer

This blog post is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute psychotherapy or establish a therapeutic relationship. If you are seeking mental health support, please consult a licensed provider in your area. Julie Cardoza is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California; however, blog content, free resources, and group offerings may reflect a blend of clinical insight and wellness practices. Clinical services are provided only through direct therapeutic contracts in accordance with licensure laws.