Menopause, Trauma, ACE's and The Midlife Body

Why Healing at Midlife Requires a New Conversation

By Julie Cardoza, MS, LMFT, RYT, EMDRIA Approved Consultant

“Menopause is not just a hormonal shift. For many, it’s a reckoning—where memory, biology, and lived experience meet the nervous system and ask for something more honest, more embodied, more whole.”

When perimenopause meet unresolved trauma, self-compassion becomes essential healing

When the Midlife Body Calls for Cocooning

If you've found yourself reaching for the softest hoodie, pulling it over your chin like armor, or wearing your hair in that same messy bun for days—you're not falling apart. You're cocooning.

This isn't avoidance. It's preparation.

Just as a caterpillar must dissolve completely before emerging as a butterfly, the midlife transition often requires a season of withdrawal, protection, and deep internal restructuring. Recent brain imaging research shows this isn't metaphorical—it's neurobiological. The brain is literally reorganizing itself during this vulnerable window, and your nervous system knows something profound is happening, even when your mind can't name it yet.

The Midlife Body Remembers

Midlife isn't simply a phase—it's a neuroendocrine threshold. For many, it becomes a trauma reactivation zone where the body's stored wisdom finally feels safe enough to surface.

The hormonal transitions of perimenopause and menopause trigger far more than hot flashes or irregular cycles. They awaken the nervous system, expose unmetabolized memories, and initiate a complete rewiring of the body-brain relationship. Old pain that was tucked away for survival now emerges, asking to be witnessed and integrated.

This emergence can feel overwhelming, but it's actually your system's attempt at wholeness.

The Missing Thread: ACEs and Menopause

We know that Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) fundamentally alter stress physiology, immune function, and long-term wellness. Yet few conversations weave this trauma science into our understanding of menopause.

The data tells a compelling story:

• 58.5% of midlife women report one or more ACEs

• 17.2% report four or more

• Women with ≥4 ACEs have 9.6x greater odds of experiencing severe menopausal symptoms, including night sweats, insomnia, mood instability, and depression

• Women with childhood trauma are 3.2x more likely to undergo early surgical menopause—often without adequate emotional support

This isn't coincidence—it's cascade. Trauma primes the nervous system for dysregulation, and hormonal withdrawal can reactivate those ancient survival circuits.

The Dissolution Phase: What's Actually Happening

As estrogen and progesterone decline, the brain loses access to key neurosteroids that support regulation and resilience. These hormones don't just regulate reproduction—they act as "neuroprotective agents that enhance memory consolidation, support executive functioning, buffer emotional reactivity, stimulate neuronal repair, and modulate neurotransmitter balance." (Del Río et al. (2018).

The hormonal changes affect the modulation of:

• Amygdala (fear, threat detection)

• Hippocampus (memory processing)

• Prefrontal cortex (executive function)

• Nucleus accumbens (motivation & reward)

• Hypothalamus (sleep, appetite, temperature regulation)

Simultaneously, hormonal buffering of inflammation decreases, making the body more reactive to stress, environmental triggers, and unresolved trauma. For trauma survivors, this withdrawal can mimic past threat states, leading to panic, despair, chronic pain, or emotional overwhelm with no clear origin.

Your cocooning instinct makes perfect sense—your nervous system is asking for the safety and space needed for this profound restructuring.

The Weaving Begins: Relearning Your Body

Perhaps the most disorienting aspect of midlife is discovering that your body no longer responds as it once did. The workouts that energized you now deplete you. Foods that worked for years cause bloating or fatigue. Your sleep, libido, and stress tolerance all shift.

This can feel like betrayal, but it's actually biology asking you to weave a new relationship with yourself.

"When we understand the science of what's happening, we stop blaming ourselves—and start asking new questions: How do I want to live now? What does my body need from me in this next chapter?"

Relearning your body at midlife isn't failure—it's liberation. An invitation to stop pushing and start partnering with your physiology.

Identity in the Chrysalis: The Sacred Dissolution

Clients in this life stage often describe:

• "I don't feel like myself anymore"

• "I can't tell if I'm grieving, awakening, or falling apart"

• "Old stuff is surfacing, but I don't know what to do with it"

This isn't regression. This is sacred dissolution—the necessary breaking down that precedes integration.

In the cocoon, the caterpillar doesn't gradually grow wings. Its entire body dissolves into what scientists call "imaginal soup" before reorganizing into something completely new.

Similarly, midlife often requires:

• Letting go of performative roles and people-pleasing patterns

• Naming invisible labor and unspoken grief

• Feeling rage that never had a safe place to land

• Reclaiming pleasure, creativity, and spiritual longing

• Rebuilding health with trauma-informed, hormone-aware care

Emergence: What the Midlife Body Needs

You don't need to be "fixed." You need tools, context, and compassionate care as you weave your new form.

That might include:

• Nervous system education and regulation practices

• EMDR or somatic trauma therapy for processing stored experiences

• Menopause-informed coaching that honors both biology and biography

• Functional or integrative medicine that sees the whole system

• Creative ritual and nature-based healing that honors this sacred transition

• Safe space for grief, anger, and reconnection

This is your second birth—a reclaiming of the body, mind, and voice you may have silenced to survive. Recent brain imaging studies show remarkable evidence of what researchers call "adaptive compensatory processes"—your brain literally growing new neural connections and recovering gray matter volume in key areas for memory and cognition.

The New Tapestry: Integration and Sovereignty

This is your second birth—a reclaiming of the body, mind, and voice you may have silenced to survive.

What emerges from this midlife cocoon isn't a return to who you were—it's a weaving together of all your parts into something more authentic, more integrated, more whole.

The trauma that once fragmented you becomes wisdom. The body that felt like it was betraying you becomes an ally. The voice that was silenced finds its power. The nervous system that was stuck in survival discovers it can choose sovereignty.

Cutting-edge neuroimaging research confirms this isn't wishful thinking—it's measurable brain adaptation. Studies show that post-menopausal women's brains demonstrate "intelligent adaptations" including gray matter volume recovery in areas crucial for memory, increased ATP production for brain energy, and enhanced connectivity—changes that correlate directly with preserved cognitive performance.

This is more than healing. This is metamorphosis.

A Note for Healers

If you're supporting midlife clients, honor the intersection of trauma and hormones.

Supportive Inquires:

1. What's her hormonal history?

2. Is her nervous system more reactive since menopause began?

3. Is she holding stories in her body that never had space to be told?

4. Has she had a hysterectomy? What type? (Partial, total, or bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy?)

5. If she's had surgical menopause, what support was provided for the immediate hormonal changes?

6. Does she know when her periods stopped or have a way to track her cycle changes?

7. Is she ready to move from surviving to thriving?

Critical consideration: Women who've had bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (HBSO) enter what we call "surgical menopause chaos" instantly—plunging into severe hormonal withdrawal without the gradual adaptation that natural menopause allows. This can be profoundly activating, especially for trauma survivors. Not knowing when periods stopped or lacking cycle awareness can also trigger feelings of disconnection and loss of bodily autonomy that echo past trauma.

Remember: what looks like breakdown is often breakthrough. What feels like regression is often the dissolution necessary for integration.

The Sacred Biology of Becoming

Your cocooning isn't weakness—it's wisdom. Your dissolution isn't failure—it's preparation. Your emergence won't be a return to who you were—it will be a becoming of who you've always been beneath the survival strategies.

As neuroscientist Dr. Lisa Mosconi notes, "The brain is adapting to its new biology" during menopause, with "intelligent adaptations" that allow women to live up to a third of their lives after this transition. The research shows that women who understand and support this process emerge with what she calls "a renewed, enhanced brain."

Trust the process. Honor the cocoon. The wings are coming.

What's Next in the Series?

Blog #4: The Weight of the Midjourney – We'll explore how women's nervous systems carry the invisible load of caregiving and stress—and how to begin unburdening the body and mind for what comes next.

About the Author

Julie Cardoza, MS, LMFT, RYT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, trauma consultant, and menopause-informed mental health educator based in California. She is the founder of Heartscapes, LLC, where she offers holistic coaching and wellness programs for midlife women, including her signature Radiant Reframe™ method. Julie specializes in the intersection of trauma, neurobiology, and hormonal transition, bringing a compassionate, body-based, and science-informed approach to healing and transformation during the menopause midjourney.

Key References

• Mosconi, L. et al. Menopause impacts human brain structure, connectivity, energy metabolism, and amyloid-beta deposition. Scientific Reports 11, 10867 (2021)

• Thurston et al. (2021). Adverse Childhood Experiences and Menopausal Symptoms. PMC7880696

• Thurston, R.C. et al. (2025). Menopause as a biological and psychological transition. Nature Reviews Psychology

• Del Río et al. (2018). Steroid Hormones and Their Action in Women's Brains. Front Public Health. PMC6018652

• Brown, C. et al. (2017). Trauma, Menopause, and Neurobiology: A Missing Link in Women's Health

• National Child Traumatic Stress Network (2020). www.nctsn.org

Disclaimer: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

While Julie Cardoza is a licensed mental health professional, this blog is not a substitute for psychotherapy or medical care. Any tools or practices referenced here are intended to support wellbeing and self-awareness—not to diagnose or treat medical or psychiatric conditions.